The Opening Scene

The first five hundred words of my novel are written below and I hope they are an enjoyable read. I know how important the first page of a manuscript is so I am very interested in feedback about the beginning of Sophie’s tale. Any comments, suggestions are welcome. Have a blessed day.

Chapter 1

Arkansas’ mid July heat speaks intently to the skin. One can say, it yells at the flesh till it blankets it, making the owner acutely aware of her own movement, and finally cognizant of the relief of a breeze, no matter how slight it may be. The humidity in the air on this particular morning pushed Sophie’s small, eight year old frame off of her bed, with its dampening sheets and pillow case, and into the hallway of the small house she lived in with her mother and younger brother Simon. She hoped she was the only one awake because she could have the kitchen, the ice-cold milk, and corn flakes all to herself. Although it was just her and Simon in the house with her mother, Sophie felt constraint, lack of air. Something in their house made things desperate. She was too young to make sense of it, but she knew it was true. So a simple daily habit of eating cereal took on a deliberateness that to an observer may have seemed unnecessary. She grabbed the milk from the refrigerator, set it on the counter, grabbed the cereal box from the cupboard above her head, and then reached for her special orange and blue bowl and spoon. All was ready for her to begin her small feast when Simon came into the kitchen, eyes eager, hands ready to seize what his ears had heard down the hall, his prepared morning meal.

“Is that mine?” Simon enthusiastically called out as he rounded the corner from the hall into the kitchen.

“No, boy! Get yo’ own! You know Mama said you have to get yo’ own cereal now. You big enough!”

“Oh come on Sophie, make it for me. You do it better than me. I always spill!”

Sophie replied tiredly, “I don’t care if you spill. You have to get yo’ own! So do it!”

Simon stomped his right foot hard on the kitchen floor and said, “Fine, but I ain’t gon’ let you play with my army men no more. You too mean!”

“Yes you will,” Sophie taunted. “Cause if you don’t let me play with your army men, you cain’t play in my city I been buildin’ outside so you might as well quit tellin’ that tale. Just make yo’ food so we can go play. Plus, I will tell you more secrets once we get outside if you act right.”